My father….

What can I say about him?  To quickly sum it up when I fill out medical forms that ask Mothers Age, is she alive if not what age did she die? Know those?  Yeah when I have to fill out the info for my dad I have no CLUE.

I have to ASSUME he is alive.  But I haven’t heard from him in just about ten years.

We invited him to our wedding and he declined due to not wanting to cause a scene at the wedding.

He then came by later that year to give me a birthday card (first in at least ten years).  He then called in January so I would tell my paternal grandmother I had nothing to do with the horrible drunken message that was left on her machine.  (I didn’t call).

My parents divorced when I was very very young.  For the longest time I blamed myself.  I remember the day my dad kicked my mom out VERY vividly even now.

We lived in an apartment and my mom had to go downstairs to do laundry.  I went with her.  While we were gone my brother who was quite young (a baby still really) started crying and my drunk dad got pissed and flipped out when we got back.

I can remember watching my mom walk away.  With her bag, down the sidewalk.  I can still SEE that picture in my head if I close my eyes.

Only later once my father remarried did I realized that rather than ruin the marriage I saved my mother.

My dad would beat our stepmother in front of us.  Well MOSTLY they just violently argued in front of us.  But on one instance he actually called us into the room to “watch what she was making him do to her” as he was pinning her down and punching her in the back.  I was maybe 13 and my brother was ten.

This is the briefest of explanations for now.  I will get into more details as time goes by

It really wasn’t until I was talking with my counselor did I realize just how screwed up my life sounds to an outsider.  You’d swear I make this shit up but it happened.


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