Ever feel that you can’t get ahead. That you can’t win. That all your accomplishments go unnoticed. Or they are seen, but there is more that could be done, or what you have done could have been done better?
Have you ever felt that you adjust your personality to try and be more giving, more understanding more flexible, only to then be told you are pushing away those you love?
I don’t understand what is wrong with me. At times I fear/feel that nothing is wrong with me. That I’m just a self centered loser throwing a pity party and trying to find a medical excuse for it all.
Sorry is my motto. It is instinctual. It is the word I use to hopefully defuse a situation. Obviously it is my fault. And even when i’m told it isn’t my fault it is in a way that still makes me feel as if it is my fault.
Don’t get me wrong this is not directed towards one person/or persons in particular just the ramblings going on in my head.
I was OH so productive today. Didn’t get a lot done but got a fair amount done, Though the living room is an atrocity. As much as it needs to be cleaned I’m not sure if I have it in me to do so.
Right now I just want to curl up, in a corner, and hide. Not necessarily sleep, but get away. Get away from thoughts, from feelings, from noise from the world.
I just fear there is nothing to fix because nothing is broken. Then where am I left?