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Sometimes I wonder…

I wonder what would life had been like had I dated more? (Or at all really)

What would life be like if I had moved in on campus, taken out massive student loans and finished college?

What would have happened if I hadn’t had three children?  Two?  Or even one?

Many times these thoughts come when I’m in despair.  When I think the grass MUST be greener, maybe not on the other side, but SOMEWHERE.


But through it all.  Through the poo on the walls, the massive amounts of chaos that goes on in my life, I know it wouldn’t be MY life if I hadn’t taken the paths I have.  

Had I made different choices would my life be different?  I’m sure of it.

However would it be better?  I don’t think so.

It sometimes seems as if I’m given, or take on WAY more than I can handle.  Some of the things my kids have done are RIPE for a mini series, a book, or something.

But then I look at their smushy faces, and know that while life would be cleaner, quieter and more orderly it surely wouldn’t be as much fun.

And seriously many of my days are far more exciting than many other people I know.  Gross, infuriating, and baffling, but exciting none the less.


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