There are so many things going on in my life at the moment, and yet it seems as if my life is SUPER dull and I should quit complaining.

I’m at a point where I’m questioning EVERYTHING.  And questioning why I should be questioning it.  

I love my husband and children, and know I have it VERY VERY well.  However, I can’t say things are spectacular in the marriage and I just don’t know what to do.  DH and I will have been together just around sixteen years and married for ten?  of those.  *sigh*

Luckily on the mood front, I haven’t had any super big depressive bouts WEWT.   No panicky moments.  

However my headaches have been getting worse, thus the lack of posting .  BOOOOOO.



Wow my mood took such a dramatic turn.  Luckily for the better, so I’m not complaining, but I’m almost euphoric.  

Now I will freely admit that I did not take my meds at ALL on Monday.  Yah yah I know bad blogger.  

But still holy crap man.  Still I’ll take it.  

I just hope my Ambien will work tonight so I can get to sleep or it will be a very drag ass day tomorrow.

Ugh yesterday was horrible.

Completely weepy….okay fine I bawled my eyes out on multiple occasions.  UGH.  

Friggen sucks.

Part of the reason for my previous absence was the fact that we are tearing up the boys’ room.  Literally took down the old plaster walls, ceiling etc.  Sanded the floor.  Now on to painting walls and ceiling, and staining the floor.

OMG every square inch of this house is covered in dust it seems.  The boys are sleeping drifter style on the couch which does NOT lead to normal bedtimes.

I shall be super happy when all this is done.

Xanax, the friend who was my enemy.

I was so grateful to my xanax.  Seemed to be wonderful.

Then I started forgetting things.  And I wasn’t fully AWARE I was forgetting things.  Until we went to Chuck E Cheese for both my sons’ bdays.  And I don’t remember really ANY of it.  It wasn’t like I felt out of it when I was there.  I just don’t recall it.

And there are a few other times where I have holes in my memory.

So anyone on Xanax PLEASE becareful.  I’m not saying it is a bad drug.  I’m just saying it “stole” from me.  I’d hate for that to happen to someone else.  So have a loved one, roommate, parental figure/sibling keep an eye on you and make sure you aren’t losing time.

Holy wow. I’m back. Many apologies.

Wow I had a sick kiddo, the SAME kiddo had a horrid cough, then a horrible tummy flu then an horrid ear infection.

My youngest and myself got the tummy bug a bit.


I have SOOO been a slacker.  For this I apologize.

I hope to stay back on the blog wagon.

It is awesome to have gotten new followers and comments in my absence.

Saw my shrink lady for a follow up.  We went off the Elevil.  It was giving me HORRID dry mouth and as a result I had two bouts with thrush.  NOT fun.  So I’m on amibien now.  OMG when the lady said don’t take it unless one foot is in bed she was not lying.  And I’m pretty “immune” to stuff like that.
Also and I’ll post its own post, I’m OFF xanax.  I’ll explain more in said Xanax post.

I am however on ativan.

I also have an appt with a neurologist.  I have daily (almost) headaches.  The only thing that seems to help is vicodin, which the doctor is hesitant to give me as many as *I* feel I need.  And also Fioricet which at the very least is a barbituate.  It can be a narcotic if it has codeine.  (mine does NOT)



Also my son(the poor sickie mentioned above)  have appts to be screened for ADHD.  His is also going to include screenings for depression, anxiety, and any other learning type disorder.

My lack of posting very well could be one long SQUIRREL moment.  And anyone who has had a “squirrel” moment knows of what I speak 🙂



Yesterdays Appointment.

It went fairly well.

She took me off xanax.  She doesn’t like it because it peaks to fast, and doesn’t last long so you take more etc.

She put me on ativan. Up to three times a day if need, 

She also upped my zoloft to 150mg daily, 200mg before AF(aka my period) shows up (which she is irregular, so the shrink said to take the 200mg on days when I need it.

She upped my elavil to 25mg at night and kept my Wellbutrin the same.  She advised taking it farther away from when I actually go to bed as it can make you have issues sleeping.

She wants to see me in a month or so.

It sounded as if she was dancing around the notion that I may have ADD, but I guess you need to present symptoms by age seven or something?  I still think I may have ADD traits, but who knows.

She just classified me as having generalized anxiety and depression.


So that’s that.  Hopefully today can go smoothly and quietly lol.  Ya right. 😛